Phelps’ athletic achievements make strange bedfellows with his well-publicized history of marijuana use.
So Michael Phelps is retiring as the most decorated and over-exposed athlete in Olympic history. I love swimming, but I’m long tired of the Phelps media coverage, which for two consecutive Olympics has crowded out other swimmers and other sports. However, he’s chosen to go out on top, a goal I wish more Olympians would aim for, and he’s due some extended time away from staring at a black lane line for hours a day.
What’s he going to do with his time now? He will probably cash in on his golds with more lucrative endorsements, though his retirement probably dims the deals a bit.
Here’s an idea. Make more waves than ever before – joining in the fight to legalize weed! It will outrage the world and sustain enough publicity to bury that fucking Ryan Lochte underneath an avalanche of headlines and interviews. I know how to keep that star machine running.
Michael Phelps: Olympic Hero. And potential cannabis activist.
First up, we need to remember that Rupert Murdoch’s now disgraced, shuttered News of the World broke the story of Phelps’ weed use with a scandalous photo of him smoking a bong, a model that is reportedly as world class as the athlete putting it to the test with the most powerful set of lungs it will probably ever entertain. The swimmer faced a three-month suspension from swimming and a very temporary hit to his image – then it was back to business.
I think only Kellogg’s dropped him. How many multi-million-dollar endorsements does he actually need?
His celebrity endorsements could take a new turn.
Phelps didn’t match his Beijing performance in London, which was not possible, though he did manage to become the most medalled Olympian in history, while simultaneously passing a figurative torch to Chad Le Clos, who beat him in the 200 fly. Phelps can be a good loser, even if he had to learn losing anew in London.
London was hardly a disappointment, and the tabloid story on his pot picture barely gets a mention as he ascends to a throne that no one is likely to oust him from in the foreseeable future.
How to stay in the limelight? Time to share it! And diffuse it! With Willie Nelson and the fight for legalization of marijuana!
It’s not People or Sports Illustrated or GQ, but politically inclined potheads still make magazine covers.
This is the pairing the world has been waiting for but never expecting. Michael Phelps could eschew the pleas of hip-hop stars sending him Tweets that get shared poolside after swims, one of my least favorite aspects of NBC coverage, and that means I really, really hate it. Fuck that Twitter noise! Besides, Lil Wayne is gonna wanna get high if he ever runs into the Olympians that he tweets, especially Phelps.
Actually, Michael Phelps would certainly run into Snoop Dogg, who may not be the hip hip-hop star that Lil Wayne is, but has a longer history as a celebrity. Plus, I don’t think Snoop Dogg is high all day long, as Lil Wayne claims to be. Someone has to set a limit, even if it’s Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson.
Get on the tour bus with Willie! He will love it. Willie can be the mentor and father that Michael never had. And let’s face it, Michael – and the rest of us – can do with some time away from his mother.
The interweb has already spoken.
Michael stumbling red-eyed, giggling, and hungry off the bus with 79-year-old Nelson would create a delightful commotion as well as a fabulous fuck-you to the anti-cannabis crowd. Phelps is the ideal counter-balance to the parade of ads showing potheads sitting on the sofa, literally melting into 2-D flats of themselves from inactivity. Phelps smokes weed and he’s the most decorated athlete in history.
And if we want to talk longevity, let’s look to Willie Nelson. God willing, he will turn 80 next year, and his popularity and artistic integrity have not faded with time – or decade after decade of shameless potsmoking. And he still sings gospel. Put all that together in a package – and then shake it all over the U.S. like a bag of bud.
Willie is not shy about his marijuana use.
Don’t you want Nicholas Delpopolo on your side? He could crush your throat, but he won’t, ’cause he’s a mellow guy who likes weed.
But it’s not all toking and pizza for Phelps. Willie has to work, and so does Michael. I suggest taking up the cause of fellow U.S. athlete Nicholas Delpopolo, who was kicked out of the Olympics for testing positive for marijuana, which he claims he ingested “inadvertently” after eating something with weed baked in. He didn’t medal, but now he doesn’t even get to keep his seventh place.*
*Are there ribbons after bronze? That’s what we used to get from my childhood swim team. I think seventh place was brown.
So much fuss over a pot brownie? Look at the fan from Montenegro! We’re letting an entire fledgling nation down. C’mon Olympics and America, loosen up.
According to the BBC, Belgrade-born Nick Delpopolo was adopted from a shitty orphanage after the chaos of the dissolution of Yugoslavia, and felt extremely grateful to the U.S., hoping to represent both his adoptive nation and Montenegro, which has has visited and still holds a connection to. It’s a story that tugs at the heart. Do we really want to fuck over his dream of showing gratitude and connection to two different countries?
Willie Nelson gets booked for possession in 2010. He walks the walk.
And after all, Phelps, Delpopolo, and Nelson share the misfortune of a fondness for an illegal substance. Phelps got a three-month suspension, Delpopolo was ejected from the Olympics, and Willie took the fall for his band for his busted tour bus.
Michael Phelps can take to Willie’s stage and to the morning talk shows keeping a focus on Delpopolo’s plight, long after the Olympics have ended and people are focused on the World Series, the Superbowl, and March Madness, reminding Americans that there are more than three sports (okay soccer and hockey and maybe tennis are contenders in the U.S.) and that marijuana doesn’t seem to affect world class athleticism. (Let’s agree that it doesn’t help it, so why ban it?)
Phelps has already become a pro-pot fixture in the world of interweb memes. He can take it to a higher level by pairing with Willie Nelson.
Michael Phelps has to move fast on this. Whether he knows it or not, he’s already a key figure in the mobilization to legalize marijuana use. He can get a kick-start by lending a hand to a fellow Olympian stoner. Phelps has had a career that few can dream of. Now he can have a second career that few will conceive of.
FREE DELPOPOLO!
Doris W.
mrlousy
Raúl Zingle
We can only hope that he does more during his retirement years than fellow Olympian Bruce Jenner. Joining forces with Willie is way more honorable than signing on to some simple minded “reality” exploitation show. But I won’t be surprised if he ends up dancing with the stars. In regards to Olympic coverage, I would much rather watch badminton and ping pong than the endless qualification heats they think we’d all rather watch. I would, however, take tennis out of your list of favorite American spectator sports. You have to subscribe to cable television to even see any of the major tournaments these days including the Olympics. And, don’t get me started on the inclusion of professional athletes in the games! Since that’s happened, they’ve really lost a lot of their charm.
I’ve never been fully clear on how professional athletes made their way into the Olympics. I guess once a medalist wins a big endorsement contract, they’re semi-pro, so maybe the line is in a grey zone. Did Mary Lou Retton bring this about? She is the first one that I remember really plastered in advertisements. I remember Mark Spitz the superstar, but not the salesman.
I included tennis to placate my fellow blogger, Mr. Lousy, who does have cable, unlike me, and wakes up at six in the morning to watch matches. It’s definitely an also-ran compared to the big three in the U.S., though the World Cup is making inroads. It just needs to happen more often to fire everyone up.
NBC should be brought to trial for their coverage. It’s insipid at best. And Ryan Seacrest? Why?
Saddest of all is Bruce Jenner, or what is left of the 1976 athlete. He was superb, but I can’t think of a harder fall from grace from an athlete – just because he publicizes his own humiliation in a bid to hold onto the public’s attention. What they are really looking at is the terrible plastic surgery that has rendered his face into that of a soap opera queen in her sixties addicted to cosmetic alterations that stretch and misshape everything from the neck up. At least he’s not a commentator. And can you imagine putting his mug on a Wheaties box? I don’t think even AARP would take him for a magazine cover at this point.
I’m totally up for badminton! I even love the trampoline! I can do without all the swimming and track heats, though I do enjoy watching sprints.
I felt ripped off not seeing more gymnastic routines. Somehow the men’s parallel bars was sent to after-hours, and rings barely got five minutes. Unless the U.S. has a serious horse in the race, NBC doesn’t work it in.
I’m somewhat astonished at how much time beach volleyball receives. I’m so bored by it that I have to multi-task as soon as it starts. I have some ideas forming to make the sport more interesting to me. I hope to have a full revision of the sport by the weekend.
Oh for the days of Bruce Jenner. The bicentennial one. The millennial one and his trashy family should be banished to Mars for the next trip up. I am not concerned about sustaining life. They have to work that out on their own.