Avengers star Harry Dean Stanton dazzles on the red carpet at the film premiere.

  • We arrive about mid-way through the first film, the Pixar movie Brave.  It seems that marionnettes are working in conjunction with the Pixar creation team.  The film looks cute.  I am surprised it focuses on a mother-daughter relationship since most kid movies are boy-centered.  We like it and wish we had shown up earlier, but we were there to see Avengers.

  • We had our priorities wrong.

  • The concessions stand is really hot despite the dropping temperature outside.  There is a hoodie for sale that has intricate stitching.  The owner comes out to tell us that she stitched it herself so that people will feel snug and have a great souvenir of The Cottage View Drive-In.  This may be their last season; otherwise, it will be next summer because they cannot afford to go digital.  It would cost 100 grand.  I feel sad.  I buy a t-shirt because I can’t afford the hoodie, but I think I will go back to get the hoodie the next time that I go.

Cottage View concessions building in the off-season.

  • During an intermission, there is a segment features tiny dogs and kittens.  The print looks as though it has been run one million times.  The music is a collision of Muzak and Kraftwerk.  We laugh very hard at the tiny dogs scurrying about.
  • Avengers begins.
  • There is something noisy happening on the screen.  Samuel L. Jackson is screaming.  Jeremy Renner shoots arrows.  Tom Hiddleston as Loki is there.  Something about a briefcase.  We are confused.  Has a stoned teenager started with the wrong reel?  This wouldn’t be the first time happened at a drive-in.
  • The title appears.  We feel worried.
  • They round up all the Avengers except Thor.
  • I am upset that Gwyneth Paltrow has a bit.  I would rather see Don Cheadle if they are using Iron Man supporting players.
  • Robert Downey Jr. makes a lot of wisecracks as Iron Man.  
  • Chris Evans plays Captain American bland.  I liked him better in Cellular.  I am surprised he is not shirtless since the Internet seems to only show him shirtless with the divisive issue of whether his chest should be shaven or not.  
  • Thor shows up and steals Loki.  Thor needs to wash his hair and Loki just needs a haircut.
  • They get Loki back.  
  • We start eating cupcakes.  
  • Scarlett Johansson is the Black Widow.  She uses movie martial arts.  She wouldn’t last a minute on the screen with Maggie Q.
  • Mark Ruffalo is Bruce Banner.  I am not bothered by the casting change since I thought Eric Bana barely registered in the Ang Lee film, and I didn’t see Edward Norton in the Hulk film that followed a couple of years later.
  • I have to pee.  There are port-a-potties set up by the restrooms, but I don’t know why.  I found the men’s room a perfectly acceptable place to take a leak.

  • Everyone gets on a ship and argues.  They threaten to turn it into a submarine, but then it becomes an airborne aircraft carrier.
  • They catch Loki.
  • The convertible next to us closes its roof and turns on its motor, depriving us of its speaker AND drowning out our own.  We move the car to the front row.

Everyone wants this thing.

  • There is a lot of talk about gamma rays and something that starts with the letter T.
  • We see a flashback with Loki making a pact with monsters from another dimension.
  • There is lots of arguing and then explosions.  The Avengers are scattered.
  • Loki and Black Widow have a confrontation without fighting that reveals Joss Whedon wrote the story.  I recognize his dialogue and wish there were more of it, especially if it were exposition in disguise.  I do not understand anything.
  • Loki is on the loose.  The Avengers trade quips for solidarity after a fanboy agent gets killed.
  • Harry Dean Stanton appears as a security guard who finds Bruce Banner nude after The Hulk has fallen out of the sky.  This is the best part of the film.

This is my third encounter with Harry Dean Stanton in as many days! First, in the Nicolas Cage-directed James Franco film, Sonny (2002); then in The Mini-Skirt Mob (1968); and finally as the breakout star of Avengers (2012)!

  • New York City is under attack.  Will the attack ever end?  It goes on and on.  Hawkeye is now not hypnotized.  
  • I am put off by the team.  I don’t see Norse gods, a bow-and-arrow assassin, Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, and Black Widow as being in the same movie.  There are too many, and their abilities cover too wide a spectrum.
  • The battle is still going on.  Monsters arrive on floating jet-skis to zip around Manhattan.
  • The battle is not ending, but my patience has long run out.
  • Giant space ships that look like skeletal slugs have appeared.  This drags the battle out longer.
  • The Hulk can now control himself and even talk.  What brought this about?
  • Is Captain America’s only power his shield?
  • Iron Man saves the day, I imagine since Robert Downey Jr. is the star and his movies make the most money.
  • We stay through the closing credits as we’d been advised.  I hit the radio dial with my foot and chaos ensues as a I try to reset it but instead turn on the windshield wipers.  We have missed some sort of scene set in deep space with more monsters.
  • I am feel sad that the Cottage is going to close.  My best time of the evening was talking to the owner.  After that, it was watching the ancient print of tiny dogs playing.
  • I don’t understand what happened in Avengers.  I don’t care.
  • Joss Whedon needs to work only on a shoestring budget.  This felt like a Transformers movie.  I am thankful that he made The Cabin in the Woods and that it got released before this.
  • We agree that we didn’t understand partially because we didn’t see all the Marvel movies.  It doesn’t matter.  We laugh again as we think about the tiny dogs from the intermission.