We’ve still got another Hunger Games sequel to go, so now is the time for the Mockingjay District 13 presidential campaign to begin. I am already endorsing Jane Fonda for President Coin. Perfect on so many levels. She exudes an off-putting air of superiority and presents as seemingly sympathetic yet somewhat icy. Her carefully measured voice in particular suggests a combination of cunning and control under the guise of caring.
Moreover, her misguided early seventies political activism will drive her considerable congregation of haters completely batshit crazy. The ones still bitterly clinging to the photo of Hanoi Jane with the Viet Cong will never forgive her, and they’ll provide an added boost of publicity as soon as she’s cast by picketing and hollering in front of news cameras. This might get the attention of some grown-ups who might be otherwise unaware of the HG phenomenon.
But back to politics: Fonda’s 1960s socialism-ish version of herself matches perfectly with the character of President Coin, who presides over a society of oppressive quasi-equality and crushing blandness. It’s almost as if the 1960s Jane Fonda had taken over some former Soviet Republic and driven the entire thing into a massive underground bunker, instead of becoming a multi-millionaire fitness guru later betrothed to a walking media conglomerate.
And lest we forget, Donald Sutherland is already playing President Snow. This is the Klute reunion that dozens of us have been clamoring for. Their final face-off has been forty years in the making.
And so I decree in the midst of this difficult and divisive campaign to elect a new commander in chief:
Jane Fonda for President.